Patchwork
by Gelasia Kidd
Summary: I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to go home, where-ever home was. I wanted friends, I wanted a love all for me. But how can I do it without help? SI. M for potential triggers and unhappy past. Mentions some not nice stuff. Thought I could get away without it but I really can't. Thank you for reading.
Prologue:

I loved Undertale. I had a great heart for the characters, and never wanted to let them go. I felt like Sans would have been a great friend, as we crack puns back and forth. I wanted Toriel to be my mother figure. I wanted .. Papyrus would have been a great older brother, I think, the cheesy one that always made you smile but you sort of had to protect too.

I felt a lot about a lot of them. I cried as I left Asriel behind. I wanted to go back- I wanted to reset and be with them again. But Flowey was right. I couldn't take away their happy ending. I never could make myself reset. I was curious, yes. Even about genocide- I mean I wanted to know everything, to connect further.

But I always stopped right at the button. I listened to the music. I read about it. I watched heartbreaking and hope giving videos. But I wasn't going to get to see them ever again.

Until I was.

A vague awareness came over me. The wind was whipping at me as a dizzy movement rocked through my body. There was a light outside my eyes, but it was growing dimmer and dimmer. I caught glances of purple tinted dark grey slate, and above me, the sun shining down the cave was closing to a pinprick- because I was falling further away from it, every second.

I hit something, numbly aware of it, and my vision grew dark again.

I woke up in a bed of flowers, an odd mix of Frisk and myself. I was 16 again, with my bob. My glasses were cracked, so I hung them on my shirt, because I wasn't going to lose them, just in case. I couldn't wear them, but if I needed to I could hold them up to my face.

I squinted out at the dark, the little rays lighting the flowers around me. I felt like I was somewhere familiar, but couldn't place quite where. I wasn't the sort to lie to myself, but I had lucid dreams of wandering tunnels for years. I wasn't dreaming, I don't think. Everything wasn't padded.

I touched my suddenly different haircut and looked at myself. The last time I remembered wearing this outfit was at Ohayocon when I was much younger, before my artist "sempai" left me. It was Juunanagou, Android 17 crossplay. My grandma had sewn my bandana for me, and it was my first cosplay ever, at my first convention.

Even more eerie, I still had my fanny pack from the convention. It had my pass clipped to it, and as I opened it I realized there were some charms and a smushed box of pocky I think I had purchased there, half empty.

Squinting didn't help all that much, and a flash of yellow startled me into my hazel eyes flaring in that direction.

"Hiya! You must be new here! My name is Flowey!" the cheerful yellow blob said.

"Uhhh..." I said, blinking bewildered. I pinched myself, and it HURT. Nope.. not a dream. I held the single not cracked lense of my glasses up to my eyes. Yep. Anthromorphic flower. The closest thing I could say it was like was maybe like the annoying orange cartoon show thing I avoided so desperately, except with wide black rabbit eyes, and a toothless grin. At least it seemed seamless to the flower without the false human skin.

"Um.." I stood up, and took a few steps away, back facing Flowey as I saw the dark hole of the cavern.

"What! I haven't gotten to tell you how this place works!" My lips twitched amused, and I turned around, crouching a little.

I didn't know if this was a dream or not. I felt scared and anxious, but excited and happy. It was a bundle of feelings I couldn't exactly place. My balance wasn't great, though, and I plopped over.

I brushed my fingers over Flowey. He was so tiny and soft, and my heart panged for the soulless Asriel.

"What are you doing?" I looked down to a glare, a dreadful glare from a flower. My hand with my glasses had fallen with me, and I put them on my shirt again, under the bandana this time.

I shrugged, and sighed. Frisk didn't really talk, and Chara only had hurtful words. But I had a voice, even though I didn't know words to say.

"I don't know. I'm not a hero, I don't even know how to be a person some days," I told Flowey.

"Well buddy, how about I teach you about how people are down here!" Flowey said. Little bits of white dots floated around me, and my soul came out.

My soul was a dreadfully sad thing, I realized. It was battered, with little fractures. Bits and bobs seemed to be missing. And across it all was a faint impression of a bandage that blurred the inside. It said 'hope' on the impression, but it was starting to peel.

The world faded around me as I looked at the cracks, the memories filling my vision instead.

"no one likes you"

"didn't you know? you are worthless"

"oh sweetie, you dont need to go to college. you couldnt handle it. just stay here."

"you'll do it if you love me"

I came back as a single pellet barely nicked my cheek. Flowey seemed paler yellow, somehow. Being inches away from him made the frown on his face very obvious.

The battle ended, and my soul went back. I would have made a "you look like you'd seen a ghost" joke to lighten the humor, but ghosts were a real thing here and it seemed wrong. But with no words, the horrified silence of Flowey persisted.

"What happened to you?" Flowey said, sounding very young, like the Asriel he should have been.

A gave him a smile. A painful, tiny, broken thing. "Azzy, is it okay if I don't want to go home?"

He seemed to wilt slightly, and I sort of did too. I found myself curled into the blossoms, tired.

He watched me, as I pet the soft petals of the regular flowers. "Idiot, I could kill you."

My head in memories, I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears. One slipped down my cheek and onto the flower below my head.

"That's okay too," I said.

A leaf plopped against my head.

"It's no fun to kill someone like this," Flowey grumbled. "Aren't you supposed to have DETERMINATION?"

But I drifted to sleep regardless, the sweet scent of the buttercups around me.

This was okay.

Ch. 1:

Sleep faded even slower. I was being held by something warm, and soft. I hadn't been carried like this in forever. There was a humming voice above my head, and I felt like I didn't want to open my eyes to be in that empty room again. With a family that didn't want me there and didn't talk.

With no friends, and scared to leave the house.

With only my ill cat that my dad threatened daily.

But the jolting movement roused me, as one arm left me to open a door.

"H-huh..?" I looked up to a warm, goat face.

"Well my child, you arouse?" Toriel asked me. I was set to my feet, one hand, paw, holding me steady.

"Uh huh.." I affirmed, my hand reaching out to find the door in front of me. My distance perception was off, and I almost fell.

"Ah! Child, are you blind?" The warm maternal monster asked.

I shook my head with a muted giggle.

"No, but almost!" I pulled my glasses out from under my bandana, looking as broken as before.

"Oh dear!" she hurried me inside, before pulling me to her room, where she rummaged, before pulling out a glasses case.

"Here!" she said, opening them and placing them over my eyes. To my surprise, they were the right prescription.

"Oh.. but don't you need these?" I asked her.

"I have several pairs of these," she said with a beam. "Oh! I forgot to ask your name!"

"My name.. is Jessica. But I'd prefer to go by Gelasia, or Gela," I said with a nod.

She took my hand, leading me out of her room and into the next one.

"Here this can be-" she looked at the child sized bed that was about two feet short for me. "Oh."

"Hey, what's your name ma'am?" I said, interrupting the current subject.

Her bright smile made it worth it, and she ruffled my hair. It felt nice, more nice than it should have. "My name is Toriel, dear." She looked around the room in dismay.

"But we can't have you sleep here," she finally said. "Its far too small."

"Hey, it's okay! I have an idea!" I said, beaming. "What if we took the mattress off the frame and put it on the floor? With the pillows and blankets and stuffies," I said, gesturing at the box of toys. "I could make a happy little nest."

"Alright dear," Toriel said. "I should help you get ready, so you can nap before the pie is done." She covered her mouth in startlement that it slipped out. "I'm sorry! I was hoping to give you surprise gift."

I gave the bed a wry grin, before turning to her. "Hey, its alright. Can I help? I love baking!"

I had never saw the goat-mom look so pleased in the game. But this wasn't a game anymore, and they weren't pixels. I took her soft paw like hand in mind, thrilled at the fact I could touch it, it was real.

It was real.

Ch 3:

Baking with Toriel went well! I rolled the crust as she told me how to cook the ingredients. It was actually largely made with a native nut, with the thick butterscotch cinnamon syrup baking into something that felt like pecan pie if it was all cooked together.

I had a blast cutting the strips of dough out, and I showed Toriel how to make lattice crust, and use the electric stove when she didn't want to use fire magic.

It was a great bonding event, and when I made a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor next to her chair, flipping through a book happily, as she sat reading on the recliner, I felt sort of happy.

I felt at home.

"I wish my mom was like you, Tori," I muttered with a sigh, leaning against her leg. She brushed her hand against my hair distractedly, before she realized what I said and closed her book.

"Why do you say that?" she asked hesitantly.

"Mom.. doesn't want me there. And Daddy is dying and so angry at the world," I mumbled into her robe. Her keen ears picked it up and her hand squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

"Well.. you are wanted here, child," she said with shimmering eyes. "And I'll be the best mother I can, if you want."

I looked up at her, wounded by the world. "You'd be my mommy?" I said, tears in my eyes again. I curled up against her leg, shuddering to hide my sobs.

"Oh child," Tori said, effortlessly lifting me as she stood herself, hugging me. "You're okay now, you can cry."

Heartbreaking sobs broke through my chest, with keening noises. This took about 20 minutes to calm, and even then I was shaking, and aching.

I felt I needed to explain myself.

"Mom didn't like noise." And I closed my eyes and relaxed, empty. My eyes caught a yellow movement, and peering out of a vase was Flowey, watching with his brow furrowed. When he realized I had seen him, he ducked away, face aflame.

And tucked into bed, full of pie, and promised fun snail recipes tomorrow, I wondered why I had been so easy to cry. Usually I could hide it..even from myself.. anxiety crept up on me. All the distractions were gone and I could feel the reason I was really shaking, as I began to hyperventilate.

I burritoed myself in blankets and shook as the withdraw started to make its impact.

I didn't have my medicine.

 _I didn't have my medicine._

 _ **I didn't have my medicine.**_

I was a autistic, anxiety ridden teenager with bipolar I couldn't control when unmedicated and the tendency to lash out without control without the medicine.

In a world where the most accidental hit could devastate a monster, I was losing control over my actions.

The shaking nausea spread through me and I sat up suddenly, gagging without control. The bucket trash can was pushed to me with a hesitant leaf, but before I could thank the flower it was gone. I remained that way, bundled in blankets and sick, until Toriel opened the door that morning.

And somehow in my racing thoughts, circles and shattered memories, I came up with not quite a plan, but a direction.

"Mom.." I said, looking up with bags under my eyes and clammy, freezing skin. "You need to get Sans."

Ch 4:

The time went funny there, as the hot flashes and cold sweats continued. I didn't throw up anymore. There was nothing left, and my body was too tired to even cough and gag. I felt the air shift, and without the door even opening, a blue glow caught my eyes.

It was a single glowing eye, floating hauntingly in the shallows of a socket. The skeletons eyes grinned without humor, before the light faded and a frown crossed his face. He clicked the lamp on, his eyes normal.

"you aren't frisk.." Sans looked warily at me, before sitting on the bed. But without the mattress there, he fell through the paneling that the bed rest on.

I found myself choking slightly to muffle a laugh. My mind came up with puns at the worst possible time.

"what?" Sans snapped irritably.

"I wood not know," I started, face flushed with the irrepressible need to laugh at my own humor. "But you seem quite board."

Sans eyes both glowed in surprise, levitating himself carefully off the shattered frame before sitting next to me.

"im floored that you could notice that," Sans responded, semi-automatically. He tapped his fingers anxiously as he watched me.

"I get sort of sappy when it comes to puns," I responded equally anxious, but absolutely thrilled. I threw out my arm, and he twitched a flinch. But the blanket around me settled around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm not a great comforter, but you can use mine."

If he could roll his eyes, he would have. "you better quilt while you are a thread," he warned, growing serious. "i need to know what is going on."

I opened my mouth, and closed it. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know where to start.

After a few minutes with my eyes closed, he poked me, and I opened one.

"well?" he asked, his single glowing blue eye gleaming threateningly.

"Give me a moment, I'm processing," I told him, careful with what I was saying. "I have too many words in my head and they are all knotted up."

Several other minutes passed, my eyes closed again. The sound of tapping grew faster. Finally, I looked up at him.

"I think you know about the resets," I started, testing the words. The hand grasping the comforter clenched, pulling it very so slightly, just enough that I noticed.

"yes." was all he said.

"It's not Frisk. Its not Chara. Its not even Flowey, not really," I said slowly. "It's a lot of people, more than I could ever know."

My eyes, tiredly, grew half mast. "What do you know about the multiverse theory?"

"pretty much what you just said," he rolled his shoulder.

"It's the theory that every time someone has a idea it becomes real, somewhere, in a parallel world. Many people long to join these worlds that have their ideas," I continued, voice near inaudible.

"But some people capture their ideas in stories, or even games," I finally continued after a long pause.

"There is a game about this world, this story. It went, something we call viral. Everyone knew at least partially about this world."

"Everyone had ideas."

"And so many were terribly cruel."

Sans watched me solemnly. "and what are you?"

My mouth twisted in despair. "I'm just someone that wanted to make everyone happy, but didn't want to take the happiness away from them. I never reset, I wouldn't dare. But it was so lonely, because I'd never see you guys again."

My eyes glazed as I angrily remembered how my mother yelled at me for getting a game, a game that ended far too fast but never left my heart.

The snarl on my face must have been obvious, because Sans had his hand raised defensively. A shudder of fear, not at him, but at myself, wracked me again, and I started hyperventilating again.

"stop" Sans ordered. "tell me why you needed me."

"I.. have an illness that takes my self control away. Little irritations make me lash out. Anything can make me cry, and thing can make me happy, and its a roller coaster," I muttered. He seemed startled when I curled into his chest, shivering as a cold sweat flashed through me again.

Sans could kill me.. but that was the point of asking him here.

"I had medicine that stopped a lot of it," I continued. "Medicine that is leaving my system, leaving me weak and sick."

I turned my face just enough the terror of myself in my eyes. The raised hand of Sans came down slowly, and pat my head.

"why ask me here?" went Sans, finally asking the real question.

"I can't stop myself," I said, eyes closed and nose wrinkling in a dismayed grimace.

"But you can."

And feeling exhausted, but full of relief that relaxed me, I curled into San's sweat pants cushioned lap, wilting in fatigue.

"hey kid, don't go to sleep on me," he grouched. But I was already almost gone.

"S'not a kid," I mumble. "Is Kidd." And I fell asleep.

Ch 5:

In the haze of half asleep and half awake, I distantly felt Sans moving, slipping carefully out from under me and replacing his lap

Strangely though, I could hear Toriel and Sans talking clearly, just outside the door.

"Sans..Gelasia.. what is wrong with my child?" Toriel asked worriedly.

"the kid has some medicine she took on the surface," Sans answered, no amusement in his voice. "i think i need to get her to alphy's place, i can't fix this one on my own."

A soft sob slipped out of Toriel.

"Can you keep her safe? From the rest of them? From Asgore.." her voice descending into almost an inaudible whisper on the last bit.

"i can," Sans told her honestly. "but we gotta start moving quickly."

I slipped to my feet as carefully as I could. The pie on her bedside table seemed to fit into my fanny pack without breaking, or causing a sticky mess, and she wasn't sure how it even fit, but it looked like the fanny pack still somehow had tons of room.

I picked up one of the stuffed dolls, holding it to my chest. I knew it was sort of silly to want a comfort item.. But it made me feel DETERMINED to go forward.

I was thinking about taking a blanket, as I held myself up by the bed post, when the door opened and a hand lay on my shoulder.

"hey kid, we gotta go," Sans told me. "i'm gonna take you to alphys and see what she can do."

Toriel hovered anxiously in the doorway, as he took my hand and slipped us past her.

I could see her hesitance to let me go, and it hurt so very much to think of leaving her too.

"Mom," I started quietly. "Can I call home sometimes?" Toriel lit up in pleasure, and handed me a cell phone.

"Of course! My child, I would like nothing more than to keep you here, but while it pains me to see you leave, it hurts more to see you suffer," Toriel answered me. "Call whenever you can.. Gela."

And I smiled at her. A small, pained, hopeful thing. "I'll try to come home soon, Mom."

Sans was looking a little awkward, standing next to me with his hand in mine. I knew this was only because to use a 'shortcut' he needed to be in contact with me. With the doll in one arm, as we slipped out of the house, I wrapped my arm around his completely.

Because at that moment, the small bit of stairs made my vertigo go off with a shock to my system, seeming so far away.

I turned to look at him, my face pinked, but slightly startled to see a blue blush on his baffled face.

"what are you doing?" he asked me.

"Trying not to fall," I told him, my eyes dancing a little as my face pinked further. "I don't want to trip, even if you are a good catch."

I didn't know why I let that pun slip, it was much too flirty for me, and I my nose wrinkled in dismay as I looked away.

"lets use a shortcut to my house," Sans redirected.

I twitched slightly in attempting to repress the next pun, but it was not effective.

"If you use a shortcut, does your brother use a longcut?" And for some reason, feeling really shy, I covered my face, trying not to giggle. He really wasn't all that small in comparison to me, only a few inches. It made me realize his brother was going to tower over me.

I hoped I hadn't offended him, as he pulled me along carefully. The air shifted, and then she was someplace very cold, with snow crunching under her sneakers.

I looked up, wondering why he was shaking so much, only to find his own hand on his face, before he looked at me.

"i think we'll get along just fine," he told her, finally unable to hold back his laughter, as it slipped out, a delighted, chuckle that made me flush in both embarrassment and pleasure.

As a shiver wracked through me, and my stomach growl, I realized my stomach was done with its nausea fit.

"hey, you okay?" Sans said, his chuckles dying off as he went serious. I found myself upset with myself for making his laughter go away.

"It's fine, just a little hungry," I told him, mostly honest. I felt better than before, and the aches were better. I was DETERMINED not to worry everyone.

"ok," Sans said, tugging me carefully into Grillby's. I found myself tensing, as I realized I was in a bar for the first time in a long time since **him**. Everyone had imbibed enough alcohol to be muddled. My mind flipped back to that new years when **he** had gotten drunk and I got so very sick.

I was lost in my head for a long couple seconds, before a flash of blue shook me out of it.

"you aren't ok," Sans frowned. The skeleton was frowning, as I found myself sitting on the bar stool. Everyone seemed to be eavesdropping, and my social anxiety flared up as I curled in on myself a little.

"Ah w-well," I started carefully. "Last time I was in a bar it was with a bad person.." I put my head down on my arms against the bar counter.

A gentle glow brushed through my hair, and I looked up at the warm, fire hand. It reminded me of a long time ago where I would sleep next to Grandma's fireplace in winter. It was comfort. And so I smiled at Grillby.

I held my stuffed animal close to my chest and smiled, trying to convey my thankfulness in my eyes.

 _"You're welcome,"_ the voice in my head said. It was that feeling of comfort again, the one that reminded me of home and Christmas and happy things.

I had the impression he was smiling indulgently, although his mouth didn't exist on his face. My mind flicked through the last few stories about Undertale I had read there, and I got the sensation of him flipping through my mind like a book.

 _"Oh my,"_ he said, with the most British seeming voice I could have imagined. I flamed up myself, with a blush. I had accidentally run into a 3 way smut a few days previous. It wasn't my fault that I was so curious! How would a skeleton do that anyhow?!

Little embers slipped off him, like a campfire, and I was given the impression of laughing, not in a mean way, but in a startled bewilderment.

Everyone in the room seemed to look at me oddly. Sans prodded me briefly.

"why is grillby laughing so hard?" and my mind flashed back to it, my face a tomato color and my stomach fluttering.

"Uh.." I started. "It's an inside joke." I determinedly looked away as the crackling embers slipped out almost in hilarity level of laughter.

 _"Inside, ah?"_ Grillby said, polishing a glass to distract himself. I remembered rapidly then, and my face paled as fast as it flushed. I was in a bar. We were making lewd jokes. I was in a bar, like I went to with him.

And Grillby's light fluttering became more intense as he picked up that memory and practically rifled through the rest. His laughing embers were totally gone and his flame almost still.

"Nonononono," I muttered, the anxiety filling me as each memory was examined, a flash briefly was visible for each memory.

It was about the time we were at my childhood and I was touching the scars my sister had given me in her fits, up and down my arms. The doll was forgotten on the floor. I was forgotten in my mind.

I was barely aware of my soul slipping out of my body, and everyone freezing in defense.

My soul cracked a little more, a piece chipping off onto the bar, leaving another hole.

 **My mind cried out for help..**

 **And Grillby came.**

The soul piece was carefully picked up. I distantly felt stinging as he melted it like wax. But I fully felt it when it was rubbed into my cracks a little. I was still feeling strangely hollow, but over top of my peeling Hope bandage, another appeared, like an ace bandage wrapped gently around the center, through the arc of my soul.

On the ace bandage was the word _"Kindness_ ". My soul floated there, my mind was coming back to myself. I distantly felt Grillby slip from around the counter gate. I vaguely heard the thought from Grillby to Sans to watch the bar for a little.

I watched through faded vision as the bar relaxed, and Grilly carefully took my hand, tugging me up. My soul drifted behind me, but the battle system did not appear, it hadn't from the beginning.

I found myself placed on a soft, cushioned rug. There was no bed in this room, just a pad across the floor as soft as a feather mattress. My soul drifted around, before Grillby brushed a warm hand across it, pushing it back into my chest.

I could feel the _Kindness_ in my heart. I thought about my fear of people, crowds, and social input. But.. the fear wasn't there anymore. The fear was gone.

And as I was carefully eased down, his flame hands brushing against my hair, I felt safe for the first time since I was incredibly small.

Ch 6:

I didn't know why I had slept so much the past few days, but I was relieved to wake somewhat normal feeling.

"no i didn't know her soul was like that," Sans told Grillby, who stood in the doorway. "i didnt know you were a healer either."

You heard a crackling noise and got the impression of eyes rolling.

"wait really? no that makes sense," Sans said in response. I wondered what he had been told.

"yea i know, there was a bunch of royal guards in there," Sans said warily. "you dont need to worry though, they saw the soul and will pass it on to undyne. there is no way a fractured soul could break the barrier, so hopefully they will let it go."

Sans huffed in annoyance. "i was going to take her to alphys, to see if she could help. the kids sick really bad."

"no, that wouldn't work. sometimes sick people fight without meaning to and i need to keep her safe, plus alphys never leaves her lab."

"well that's true, you always beat me to the bones in our spars. but what are you going to do when you have to work?"

"i'm not letting my brother anywhere near the kid when she's sick."

"... you are right, again. why do i even try to argue?"

As I lightly dozed, just aware enough to hear, I felt a warm hand brush my hair again.

 _"Up, sparkling,"_ Grillby mentally prodded me, pulling me to my feet. I blinked sleepily, feeling a bit off. As my senses rebooted, I felt the fluff of fur around my neck. Somewhere in the night I had been wrapped up in one of Sans spare jackets.

I was surprised at how well it swallowed me up. It seemed so tiny on his frame. Sans watched me, unreadable, a neutral expression on his face. I pulled the jacket fully around me and absorbed musky, comforting smell that came from the jacket. It was the same one I always smell when I curled up with blankets that had been stuffed in the closet for months after washing. That musty, sleepy smell that made you feel comfortably at home.

I relaxed, some of my tenseness fully leaving my body. The smell was perfect for the nappaholic, and it soothed me with ease. Sans was still unreadable, but slowly a smile turned up on his mouth with a slight blue tone to his cheekbones.

"c'mon kid, lets get you home," Sans said, taking my hand again. "i'm gonna get the doc and bring her here." I pulled out of his grasp, and wincing a little at his slightly hurt expression, I shook my head rapidly.

"Yea , I'm almost ready," I said hurriedly, turning to Grillby. "Mister Grillby sir, where is my shoes?" I asked, wriggling my socked toes. A single spark drifted off him in a small hiccup of of comedy.

 _"I'll send them to you. I have these for you, for now,"_ He replied, gesturing to some warm boots by the door. I slipped them on, marveling at the soft interior, before flinging myself at Grillby.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" I hugged enthusiastically. "Mister Grillby you are the best!"

" _Aha,"_ Grillby chuckled, a couple other sparks floating off. _"You can call me Uncle if you'd like."_

"Yea, I'd like that," I said, pulling back and beaming. "I'll see you later Uncle Grill!" I flit back excitedly to Sans, grabbing his hand and swinging it playfully. "Let's go! To the future!" I pointed in the air, forward.

"heh, sure," Sans said, the hurt look completely gone, and an amused voice slipping out of him.

As we head to the exit, he turned a smirk full of mischief upon me.

"so, uncle grillby?" he teased.

I gasped in faux dismay. "Staaaaahp, you are ember assing me!" I shoulder bumped him lightly and we both broke out in laughter.

The rest of the walk was in quiet contentment, but that didn't seem to last long.

"SANS ! ! I HEARD THAT YOU CAPTURED A HUMAN . . " a shout came from behind us. "WHY DOES A LAZY GUY LIKE YOU GET TO DO THAT ! ! " I turned, in alarm at the loud noise, but relaxed as I saw it was only Papyrus.

"I WANTED TO CAPTURE THE HUMAN ! SO I COULD BE PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD ! ! ! NOW I'LL NEVER BE COOL AND POPULAR ! !" his eyes were teary.

Sans grin slipped and I knew I had to do something, so I broke away from his hand and slipped toward the skeleton slumped in dismay. The shorter skeleton flinched warily as I lept forward and grabbed Papyrus.. in a hug,

"IN SOVIET SNOWDIN HUMAN CATCHES YOU!" I cried out with a giggle. "But, really." I took his hand curled to his chest and wrapped it around by side. "There, now you caught me."

Papyrus looked up with bulging eyes. "WHAT ? ? I HAVE CAUGHT A HUMAN ! ! ? " his other armed wrapped around me and he hugged me so strongly he lifted me from the ground. "NYEH HEH HEH HEH ! ! ! "

In text it was not a laughter I could properly appreciate, or a expression that really spoke his expression, although it did enough to relate, and even obsess a little. There was a reason I had a heart shaped spaghetti pic as a profile picture for so long.

But he was SO FRICKIN ADORABLE. I turned to Sans with sparkly eyes. "Sans! Sans! Can I keep him!? He's so cute!"

Sans single blue eye faded as they both turned to white. He had been worried, I saw, obvious in his expression, but soon descended into incredulous.

"uh.."

Papyrus made his own impact though. "HUMAN ! ! YOU MUST HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE GREAT AND AWESOME PAPYRUS! ! ! "

"Yep!" I affirmed.

"I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS FOR YOU. . ." he continued. "DO YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI ? ? "

"How can you not?" I wondered. "I miss cooking it. Trying to make different spice combinations in the sauce was always fun." I rolled my shoulder briefly. I didn't get to cook much, after I had moved in with my parents again. The last time I really got to cook.. was with **him**.

" OH BOY ! ! ANOTHER PASTA LOVER ! ! " Papyrus. " OKAY QUESTION TWO. DO YOU LIKE PUZZLES ? ? "

I had to think about that one, scritching my head.

"Yea, sort of?" I mumbled. "The medicine I took when I was younger really messed up my head and I get confused a lot. " But I beamed a wry smile up at him. "But practice makes perfect, and sometimes its fun to draw mazes!"

" . . . YOU ARE MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS," Papyrus claimed. "VERY WELL, SINCE YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, WE SHOULD DO THE NATURAL THING. LET US GO ON A DATE ! ! ! "

I stilled, and even the flush from the chill of the snowy air faded from my cheeks in pallor. "No no no ew ew ew! " I cried, shaking my head vehemently. The air went silent for a long dreadful moment, before I looked up at a hurt Papyrus face. "I can't do that! It'd be like dating my brother!"

Something fairly like recognition filled his eyes and I hugged him tight again, feeling bad for hurting him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not real good at this social stuff, and sometimes it comes out all wrong," I whimpered, my soul slipping out of my body. It wasn't a fight I wanted, but fighting myself was what I felt like doing.

Without any real understanding on the matter, I reached out and touched the fight button by pure compulsion. A white word came out of thin air..

 _ **"worthless",**_ before melding into a white arrow and shooting towards my soul. My determination faltered. It had just barely touched me and a crack resonated, before an orange glow stopped the arrow.

Because Papyrus, stronger than I could have ever know, pulled me back and looked at my wet eyes, his equally so.

"DON'T . YOU CAN'T DO THAT ! ! " he exclaimed. "BECAUSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BELIEVE IN YOU." And carefully, orange magic slipped out, seaming a new wound closed. It gleamed, but you could see what it said.

 _'FAITH'_

I gave him a wobbly smile, but couldn't quite put what I was feeling into words.

"Okay," I said. He put me down and reached for my hand. He was so tall, and in a far away memory I remembered being a child again, holding the hand of my grandmother. His fingers were as spindly as hers, and it was rare a good memory came to me anymore.

"COME ON HUMAN . . LETS GO HOME . " the tall skeleton declared.

He led me past Sans, and although he was grinning, I felt that something was not quite right with Sans. Without really knowing why I did it, I grabbed his arm, his hand slipping out of his pocket, before twisting my fingers around his in a grasp that felt oddly intimate.

"what..?" Sans seemed to question.

"You looked a little bonely back there," I said, trying to lighten the humor of the setting. I was surprised when Papyrus didn't shout, but only squinted his eyes in pleasure and his grin widened a little.

A faint tinge of pink tinted my cheeks again, this time not from the cold. I wasn't gonna approach that topic quite yet, and out of my periphel vision I could see Sans looking really embarrassed, but equally pleased.

Ch 7:

It was a interesting moment of quiet, when we reached their house. Papyrus dismissed himself to go to the grocery. Evidently in a basement under the inn, there was a underground Underground food market place. It's where the best ingredients came from- one of the reasons Papyrus insisted on settling in Snowdin.

Sans dragged me up to his room, leaving the door cracked for once, so we'd be aware when Papyrus came home asap.

"sorry about the mess, just was working on my sock collection," Sans said with a grin in his voice.

I turned to him with a pout and eyes full of disappointment. "SANS!" I exclaimed, pointing at the pile. "They are.. all! All!" Sans watched me, still as the dead. The pun in my head was quickly dismissed as I finished what I was saying. "SO BORING!"

"what."

"Yea! All white! Don't you have any variety? Flavor!?" I flopped down on them. "Poor white socks, so bland, so plain.." I raised my hands, socks on each, making squeaky voice.

"Who you calling plane?!" sock puppet one irritably whined. "I can't fly!" The other sock puppet 'nodded' enthusiastically.

"Ya!" it said in a gruff mafia voice. "If you don't stop, we's gonna sock you in the face."

I was a horrible ventriloquist, but I facepalmed myself with the socks on my hand and started giggling. It was a bad bad joke.

I turned to look at Sans, but he was turned away with his shoulders shaking. "Hey, hey?" But he ignored my calls.

There was only one cure for this! I threw a sock at the back of his head. He froze, turned, with a shit-eating grin, and tackled me, laughing. Soon I was laughing, as he tickled my sides.

"Stooooop!" I whined.

"sorry kiddo, but it socks to be you!" he denied my freedom. He tied my hands, still in their socks, with a longer sock. It was no longer amusing. But it wasn't awful.

I grew stock still as a flare of warmth flashed through my stomach and my heart fluttered.

I don't think I could have ever found a skeleton physically sexy, and that was okay. After him I didn't want to try to go down that route. But just being here, cracking jokes, was like a balm. I didn't want to leave. The surface had no appeal. The world was horrible and I didn't want to go and I didn't want them to go, it wasn't safe.

And Sans knew something was off as my face flushed and my breath came out gasping faintly. I forgot this aspect of bipolar, after so many years, after him. I had stayed in hyposexual so long, afraid of men, afraid of the world. I.. wasn't threatened. I was the opposite of threatened.

I was safe. And the warm feeling in my stomach made me want to hide my face in embarassment. But I could only barely turn my head and the panting didn't help.

"I uh.. need to call Mom.. before she worries," I murmured, my eyes lidded and voice muted. Sans jumped off of me like I was on fire more than Grillby.

"y-yea, you better do that," Sans agreed. "tori is a big worry wart about her kids."

He untied me, and as his fingers gently brushed my wrists I flinched, not in fear, but because of that fluttery warm feeling I thought had left me. He didn't know that though, and he hesitantly slipped away, as I picked up my phone as shakily called Toriel.

"Mom..?"

Ch 8:

"Oh child, I am so glad to hear from you," she told me with a smile in her voice. "I was dreadfully worried."

"I'm okay Mommy, I think.." I trailed off.

"Sweetie?" she probed.

"I uh.. I think my soul is hurt," I mumbled, just audible enough. "It's got cracks on it and missing bits."

"Oh dear.." Toriel said, her pain obvious.

"It's getting better!" I rushed out, reassuring. "B-but I'm a little scared. And confused about other stuff."

"What happened?" she coaxed.

"I don't know Mom," I stated plaintively. "I think I like Sans. But.. " my voice hitched.

"Mom, some humans can be unspeakably cruel, and the last time I liked someone.. **he** had proposed to me, and I was happy.. but then **he** hurt me, I don't even want to explain, it was unspeakable, and most of all **he** used my love as a weapon against me," I let out a pained keen.

"Oh my poor tormented child.." Toriel murmured.

"Mommy, I don't know what to do," my eyes watered. "I was scared, so long. I couldn't be around other men. I don't know if its because they are not human, because there are a lot of nice people here. But Sans, I don't know."

"..yes?" she asked.

"It felt like I'd been on a long, painful journey, and I finally came home," I finally said, drained. The audible noise of the door creaking open startled me.

"I gotta go mom, love you! I'll call you soon!"

I turned to see Sans, another unreadable look on his face, and my heart hurt, and I wilted.

"How much did you hear?" I spoke, voice wobbly as my spirit was.

"everything."

Ch 9:

I covered my face to hide my wet eyes and sniffles. I couldn't let anyone see, I just couldn't. Whatever pleasant feelings I had crashed as I fell into a deep depression. My shoulders shook and I took deep breathes. I couldn't let them see, I couldn't, I had to be quiet, it had to be quiet.

But thin arm wrapped around my shoulder. His jacket was on the floor, and he was sitting on it. The arm was strictly exposed bone. It should have been scary, but as I looked at his face it really wasn't.

His smile wasn't a comedic smile, his little trolling smirk, or even his faux, bitter, wide grins. It was somehow softer, but maybe that was because his intentions were clear, as his fingers brushed a tear off my face.

"hey, its okay," he told me. "i don't know you very well, and you scare me a little, but i won't leave you bone dry."

Another lewd pun flung itself in one side of my brain and out the other and my nose wrinkled, eyes closed to disguise the feeling of laughter. It wasn't the appropriate time for it.

The humor shook itself off quickly, and I raised my hand to touch his arm. He was all angles, and it wasn't quite comfortable in any ways I normally felt. But at the same time his solid, thin figure gave me a little bit of confidence.

"I call myself Gelasia, instead of my real name, usually," I told him. "But it has a special meaning to me, you see." I smiled, looking up at the ceiling.

"Gelasia means predisposed to laughter in the language called Greek," I continued. "And I try to laugh a lot. Cuz laughing is better than crying." I turned to him again.

"I don't think of you as a brother, but I guess you know that now, huh?" I mumbled the last bit, tangling my fingers in his arm, between the ulna and radius.

A quiet moment passed, and I could feel Sans magic pulsing like a heartbeat, at the same time, humming peacefully. I could have sat like that for awhile, but the silence was broken.

"you said he hurt you," Sans said hesitantly. "but how?"

There, I was sort of stunned. How did you explain the concept of rape to a world of monsters that were filled with love, mercy, and compassion.

I curled into his side, shivering, my mouth near where a human's ear would be, as I murmured the past. As he sat there, his sockets were dark, but I was hardly there, I was far away in memories, as the shaking turned into gasping and I had to fight gagging.

But when it would reach that point, his hand would rest on me, on my hand I had placed against his chest. I would go silent for a moment. Then, steady, continue on.

When I finished, I was panting in exertion. A single bone finger lifted my chin up to see him, and eyes still dark, his forehead bumped mine.

A blue orb flared into being in one socket.

"thank you for sharing, i know it had to be hard," he told me gently, before his expression darkened. "but if i ever meet him... **he's going to have a bad time."**

But as I spent that time curled with him, I didn't realize how the world was shifting around me.

The royal guards in the bar spread the news. The villagers gossiped like a small town would. The echo flowers sprouted around quietly changed their words until finally a small yellow flower heard the whispers and wondered.

The royal guards also reported in to their commander Undyne, who immediately traveled to see Alphys, knowing the camera system that was everywhere. They watched the screen where Papyrus hesitantly told the booth owner about the human that almost made herself fall down, while carefully picking out the best, healthiest tomatoes.

They held each other carefully as they narrowed in on Sans room, and turned up the volume as I whispered my secrets.

"U-undyne..?" Alyphs prodded, shivering.

"What..?" Undyne said, her fists clenched tightly in her pants.

"I d-don't think I want to go to the surface anymore," the small lizard otaku admitted.

"Me either Al, me either," Undyne slowly stood. "I'll.. give them a few days. But she said that humans could be very cruel. That was plural- and I guarantee you that there was more than this involved. I.. won't bring the girl to Asgore. But I need to know what she knows."

Alphys rose too, and grasped Undyne's hand.

"C-can you stay..? Tonight? Uhh .. it c-could be likeaslumberparty."

Undyne smiled down, and hugged her friend and crush. "Of course Al, you are the best thing in my life."

Ch 10:

A lot of things change over the years, I realized. I was far different than the child before I had medicine, the child that couldn't define right from wrong and had no recourse but the lash out when scared. I wondered if that thing was what defined Frisk. Did he simply have no one to shoulder their burden with them? He was so terribly young.

I never really was a fan of pain, but I was aware that even with medicine I tend to internalize my anger. That was why frustration always turned to tears.

But in a world where internalization turned into DETERMINATION to hurt, it was dreadfully dangerous. But still, I would kill myself before I ever made a monster fall down.

I wondered idly, the song ring around the rosies. It was about the black plague, yes, even as a children's song. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Was this the pain of a monster?

The mood swings were just as violent. I could be absolutely thrilled one moment, and at a pit of despair another moment. The anxiety, however, was largely eased.

"I AM HOME HUMAN, SANS ! ! ! "

My eyes flied open excitedly. Pap was home! He had gone to the grocer and I wanted to see what he got!

I jumped up, excitedly running down the stairs, taking the last few at a leap. I nearly fell over, but blue magic steadied me.

"hey, what's the rush?" Sans asked, slowly moseying up.

"Pap's back! And he got groceries! AND I HAVE A COOKING BUDDY!" I squealed. Long arms grabbed me under the arms and swung me around. I turned in mid air, somehow, my eyes near shining as I met Papyrus eyes.

"WHEEE!" I felt like a little kid again, it was great!

"NYEH HEH HEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS RETURNED TO HIS LITTLE SISTER HUMAN AND DELEGATED COOKING BUDDY ! ! !" he exclaimed. He put me down, and my eyes sparkled a little in hero worship. He really WAS strong and SUPER cool!

His cheeks flamed orange and he rubbed the back of his skull, and I realized I had said it allowed.

"NYEH HEH. . ."

Sans chuckled from behind them.

"hey, i feel a little hurt," Sans pouted. "if he's strong and cool, what am i?"

My grin spread wider and I swung back towards him, one eye closed and my hands behind my head.

"You're a special snowflake," I claimed, sticking my tongue out a bit. The pout increased.

"hey.. that's really cold of you," he said. "are you ribbing me?" Papyrus was stuck between exclaiming and shocked silence as I dropped my hands, and instead of laughing or grumbling at the puns, he watched as I just smiled softly, taking Sans hand in mine. Under some impulse, I put his hand against my cheek.

It was cool against my fondly embarrassed expression. "No, you're just special."

I turned my face away from his shocked expression as I let the hand go and he pulled it back to himself, looking at it.

"Hey Papi-nii, let's see what you got from the store!" He could lift me so easily, so I leapt on his back and pointed onward, over his shoulder.

"Onward my loyal comrade! To the kitchen!"

And I felt a little lighter as a small seam in my shattered red heart gently filled with blue before tinting the area around it purple, as it healed.

Ch 11:

Looking down at the variety of groceries, my face lit up. There was a lot we could do with this!

"WHAT DO YOU THINK ? ? " I turned my face up, beaming at Papyrus, who looked a little unsure. I had been awfully quiet.

"This is AMAZING!" I said, ruffling through them. "Ne, ne, Papi, what should we make tonight? Spaghetti and meatballs? Spaghetti alfredo? Pan seared Spaghetti in garlic butter?" I turned, facing him again. "Oh oh! I could make the heirloom spaghetti salad mom made!" His eyes were bulging and his grin was wide and delighted if not bewildered.

"SO MANY WAYS TO MAKE SPAGHETTI ? ? ? ! IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE ? ? " he stared into the distance, his imagination carried away with him, and I giggled. He realized he was freaking out then, and tinged orange.

"NO HUMAN, YOU CAN NOT KEEP ME . . ! " Papyrus stated, my smile muting. But before it could trickle away completely. "BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KEEP YOU ! ! " He was leaning over to try to be close to my height where I was crouched beside the groceries.

The only reason I didn't fall over at this point was because as I head that way, only a moment of inner weeping for the tomatoes I was going to destroy, a blue 'hand' propped me up.

"hey, don't go ruining the pasta before its thyme to spice the sauce," Sans commented. I leaned against the cupboard. I found myself choking on laughter, too.

"WHAT IS WRONG, SMALL HUMAN ? ? ? " Papyrus said worriedly as I started to flush to hold back the words.

"Hee..hee.. no no.. hee..cough.." and then with the most trolling little smirk crossing my face, I spoke up.

"Spice the sauce?"

It took one long moment for it to kick in. Oddly enough, Papyrus got it first, and orange started at his scarf and rose to the top of his head, a strange puff of smoke coming out as he looked more like an amber skull stone than a skull.

"HUMAN. WHY. . . ! ? !"

It only took another moment for Sans to get it, and his face was nearly glowing.

"uh, um. i'm going to get some stuff from.. somewhere," and he shortcutted straight out of there.

That seemed to snap Papyrus out of his sense of mild horror, and he keeled over laughing. Not just his regular NYEH HEHS, because while it sounded similar, it was much more earnest.

"THAT WAS BAD HUMAN. . VERY BAD," Payrus said. "BUT SO WORTH IT."

I wrinkled my nose, giddy. "Well we may need to put some food aside for him for later. Not sure the leftovers will be as good, but you know..."

I pulled my glasses off, eyes squinted in pleasure as I polished them absently against my shirt.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Ch 12:

It was somewhat hilarious, trying to teach Papyrus why you didn't just set the fire at max heat when trying to sear the vegetables for the dish. At the moment, I used the most easy example I knew.

"Okay so, I used to take cooking classes a long time ago, and my teacher taught me some tricks," I said earnestly, pulling out the carrot onto the chopping board, and taking the chef knife carefully. I didn't want to accidentally hurt someone, though.

"Can you step back a bit? I'm super clumsy and you can look over my shoulder even sitting," I asked plaintively at the hovering skeleton. "You might startle me." I chewed on my lip as I turned back to the carrot.

"First I'll show you the difference between cuts," I advised, cutting one carrot into half inch slices, and then chopping the other unevenly into chunks. I turned back, exposing the carrots. "See how they are different shaped?"

"YES," Papyrus stated. "VERY DIFFERENT ! ! "

"Lets heat up two different skillets then," I said, taking one on super high and one on medium, with a drizzle of oil in them. Picking up the careful slices, I put a handful in each pan.

"WHY ARE THEY DIFFERENT ? ? ? SHOULD YOU NOT HEAT THEM FASTER? ?" Papyrus asked, confused.

"Hey, you'll see in a bit!" the hot carrots cooked quickly- a little two much. Bits were scorched, and I blew on them carefully as I held it with a fork, placing it on a plate. The medium carrots took another ten minutes of cooking.

I blew on it too, handing the plate to Papyrus. "Try them both," I said. "You are a pretty smart guy, so lets see if you can find the secret."

He hesitated only a second, before carefully trying the first one, then the second one.

"WOWIE ! ! ! THE SECOND ONE IS SOFT ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND SWEET! THE FIRST ONE IS STILL HARD INSIDE BUT SOFT OUTSIDE ! ! " He took another few bites, but looked at the middles. The slower cooked ones were cooked all the way through, and the fast ones were still raw inside.

"THE LOW HEAT . . ." Papyrus mused. "IT COOKS IT SLOWER, BUT GOES INSIDE EVEN. LIKE BALANCING A SCALE, RIGHT ? ? ? "

"Woah," I said, surprised. "I underestimated you! You are a LOT more cool than I thought!"

He closed his eyes, pleased. "AND THAT MEANS THAT THE UNEVEN CUTS WOULD HAVE ISSUES COOKING THE SAME TOO, RIGHT ? ? ?"

I was flabbergasted. Everyone had assumed he was a horrid cook in the stories, the game even said it. But then again, he picked up new skills quickly- he was just never given the chance.

I mean I knew that he taught himself to drive a car, I knew he was a genius at creating puzzles too- And at that I knew that he must have sabotaged himself deliberately with the electric trap. He was sweet, and kind.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so wide, my head was full of happiness. "Pap, you are a freaking genius. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"

The orange tint on his face was obvious at the praise. He seemed very unused to it. "SO WHAT NOW?"

The withdraw had mostly faded, but my hands were shaking still, and while I was able to carefully slice the carrots, I knew I couldn't cut the tomatoes without ruining them.

My mouth twisted in a wry expression. "Well Pap, we need to cut the tomatoes for the sauce, but my hands aren't working well enough to get through the skin of the tomatoes evenly. We need to cut them into even wedges."

"WELL . . . I COULD TRY ! ! " he offered. I shot him a relieved smile and took the knife by the blade, offering the handle to him, like professional chefs were supposed to. And my soul came out, a blast of blue nicking it. I shuddered in pain and emotional hurt as I turned to the door to see Sans, his eye gazing at the knife, somewhat glazed and furious.

Several things happened in succession. The blade cut into my hand as I spasmed in pain. The blue in his eye flickered out as both eyes became wide white with shock, noticing the position of the knife. And my soul broke just a little more, but not from the attack, as I gave him a betrayed look.

The knife fell from my lax, damaged hand with in a flinch of pain, and fell blade first into my bare foot, having taken off my shoes and socks at the first opportunity.

I mouthed 'why?' before darkness clouded my gaze. I vaguely heard a shout as I fell. '..why?'

Ch 13:

I woke up on a familiar lap, in a familiar room, with a warm heated scent coming off the glowing hand petting my hair just out of sight. I hurt. I hurt so much. I was in Grillby's room again, and I hurt all over, especially in my heart.

I shifted, slightly, and cracked open my eyes.

"LI- " Papyrus stopped, and continued in a subdued manner. "Little human friend, you are okay!" he exclaimed quietly. I reached toward him, and Grillby carefully helped me sit up. Papyrus approached on his knees across the padded rug, carefully.

I held my arms out with my chin quivering. "Pap," was all I said, before his thin arms wrapped carefully around mine.

"Oh human," he sighed, his normal endearment pained.

"I'm.. okay," I reassured, not sure if I was lying or not. "I'm alive right?" Papyrus bumped his head against mine.

"You almost fell down, human," he told me solemnly. My lips twisted bitterly.

"Yea, I guess I did," I replied. My hand didn't hurt anymore, and neither did my foot, so using his shoulder as a prop I lifted myself upward. My hand felt a little funny though, and twinged. Everyone else stood too, watching me.

My hand had a big slash through the center. It could barely move. I read of this injury once, in the Dragonsong series. The tendon cut, and improperly healed.. This was my right hand. My primary hand.

 _"I'm sorry,"_ Grillby whispered in my head _. "The wound was so deep on both injuries, I was concerned about blood loss. I rushed."_

Ah... no, that wasn't right. This was not right. And I told him that much too.

"You saved my life," I told Grillby. "You patched me up a lot more than anyone has tried in a long time."

I felt the rifling through my head briefly, followed by a sense of emotional fatigue.

 _"Thank you,"_ he said, relieved.

I carefully wrapped my bad arm around Papyrus arm. "Please Pap, can we go home?" He watched me with an unreadable look, before finding himself reassured at whatever he found in my gaze.

It was darker than normal, it seemed, in contrast of the three echo flowers tied by a familiar blue glow sitting before the door.

Papyrus grew incensed, starting to reach for them in an attempt to remove them. I shook my head, and with my good hand reached down. I pulled my bad hand back, and carefully prodded each one.

"i'm really sorrry," the first one said.

"i don't deserve forgiveness," the second one said.

"i won't bother you anymore," the last one said. I stood stock still, and gestured for some privacy. Papyrus let me go back into the bar briefly.

"I already forgave you," I told the first one, poking it briefly to hear my words back. I put it down, far enough not to change.

"Please come home," I told the second one. While I was scared a little, I didn't want him to go away.

"I'll miss you," I told the third one.

I carefully took my bandana off, wrapping them. Papyrus gave me another unreadable look as I tucked the blue 'ribbon' into my pocket with a sad smile, and placed the orange bandana bundle down on the step, and we continued on, my boots crunching in the snow in small steps.

I didn't realize what was going on around me, as a depressed, stocky skeleton was pulled away from his telescope by his cell buzzing, a true rarity.

 **'u need 2 go 2 grillz T-T dont be a baka -Al'**

And I didn't know that with our backs still in sight in the distance, he picked up the orange bundled echo flowers, touching each one.

But I do remember the first time I ever heard Sans raise his voice.

"WAIT!" he called. I turned around, startled. And despite myself a smile blossomed over my face. And that scratch across my soul was filled in by the blue that had hurt it to begin with.

Ch 14:

I looked from Papyrus door, to Sans door. Papyrus was glaring at Sans, and Sans was doing his best to heckle Papyrus in an attempt to feel normal with his shit eating grin.

I looked then, from Sans, to Papyrus. This was NOT happening on my watch. I trundled into Papyrus room, with great resistance stopping myself from responding to Sans smile dwindling. I ripped off ALL the blankets from the bed, wrapped the pillows up in them, and trundled out again.

Both of them stared as I threw it over the banister. I then trundled into Sans room, and he followed me hesitantly. Papyrus was looking over the banister at the blankets with a stunned gaze, thoroughly distracted.

Sans watched as I carefully did the same with his even stuffing a spare pillowcase with socks.

"what are you doing?"

It was my turn to flash me shit eating grin at him, before silently carrying the stuff to Papyrus side and throwing THOSE over the banister. They watched me as I carefully tore the sofa apart and made a giant nest in the center of the floor. I had to use my bad hand like it had a mitten on it, but it wasn't impossible.

A turned to them proudly, gesturing broadly, wishing I could have a drum roll. "Here! We will bed together." They stared at me, before glancing at each other. Papyrus turned away with a huff... until I threw a sock in his face.

"No, stop!" I told him. "I love you guys lots, and most of all you love each other, and we are staying here till you remember that again."

They turned to each other, in perfect sync.

"the human is insane."

"ABSOLUTELY NUTTY."

"Hey!" I cried out, "Stop pecan on me!"

"pine, pine, i'll stop needling you."

"OH MY GOD SANS, HUMAN. WHY. . . !"

And at that we all broke into laughter. Papyrus leapt heroically over the banister to grasp me in a hug, us both flopping on the heavily cushioned ground.

Sans leisurely trailed down the stairs, before flopping, his arms wide spread.

It was a long day for all of us, and Sans dozed off immediately. I was glad he felt comfortable enough to sleep around me, and I smiled sweetly at him.

I turned to see Papyrus watching me. He was a lot less transparent than I thought he'd be.

"Ah . . human," he started. "You had not eaten yet." I nodded hesitantly. Although I was hungry, there was so much more I wanted to do. But he was right to point it out.

He slipped up, coming back with two cinnabuns. "Don't tell Sans; I always nag him abut healthy food, but this is my personal splurge stash," Papyrus told me, slipping down again and handing me one.

I have a horrible sweet tooth, I would not deny that. The bun lasted a matter of thirty seconds before I was licking syrup off my fingers. Papyrus had eaten, and curled up.

"Ah.. I'm not sure how to sleep without Sans reading me a bedtime story," he said, in quiet disappointment.

"Um," I said hesitantly. "I could do what my mom used to when I couldn't sleep, when I was very young."

Papyrus turned his face toward me from where he lay. "You'd do that for me?"

I smiled warmly down at him. "Yea.." I told him softly. "Roll onto your stomach and get comfortable."

I could almost see the question marks over his head, but he easily obliged me, and I started gently rubbing his back, and started singing.

 _"When Sunny gets blue, the skies go grey and cloudy, and the rain begins to fall,"_

 _"Pitter patter, pitter patter, love is gone, but what can matter? No sweet lover man comes to call,"_

I could do Doris Day, but I hovered gently on the notes, trying to do Nat King Cole with justice.

 _"When Sunny gets blue, she breathes a sigh of sadness, like the wind that stirs the trees,"_

 _"Then she sets the leafs to swaying, like a violin is playing.. weird and haunting melodies,"_

My lips turned up as his body relaxed in sleep, but I never was one to stop half way.

 _"People used to love to see her laugh, see her smile- That's how she got her name,"_

 _"But since that sad affair, she's lost her smile, changed her style.. somehow she's not the same."_

But my hand lifted from Papyrus back, and I laid down the strange mix of warm and cold of the two bodies around me filling me with a sense of comfort.

 _"But memories will fade, and pretty dreams will rise up, where other dreams fell through,"_

I took a grasp of Sans sleeve carefully.

 _"Hurry new love, hurry here, to kiss away each lonely tear, and hold her near when Sunny gets blue.."_

I trailed off humming the song, curled into his sweatshirt now, before the humming faded and sleep rested on me finally. I didn't see the white eyes slowly open and look at me, before an arm tugged me closer.

Ch 15:

I woke up alone, feeling a little cold, even though I wasn't physically so. I heard something sizzling. It smelled like bacon and I was pleasantly surprised. I slipped up carefully, tugging Sans spare jacket around me. I didn't think I'd want to take it off, although I knew if we went to Hotland I'd have to.

I wondered a little if I was a perv for feeling so happy about the smell. It wasn't a lust thing though, it was just like.. a permanent hug. Going into the kitchen, I saw Sans cooking bacon, and a carton of eggs beside him.

The idea slipped in my head and sort of boggled me. "Uh Sans?" He turned to me.

"Where do you uh," I gestured broadly at eggs and bacon. "Well, it's just that I never heard of chickens or pigs in the underground." He looked off into the distance, the spatula tapping lightly against his chin.

"you know what, i never thought about it," he finally said, turning back to the bacon to flip it. "i never really cared before." I could almost hear his thoughts, as he hummed lightly. Something new would always be a gift for someone who has lived so long.

And then I realized what he was humming, as I carefully picked up the towel awkwardly in my good hand. My eyes were slightly averted as I tilted his head gently with the side of my bad hand, before dabbing the oil from the spatula away from his face.

"Nice song," I said, my face pinked.

"uh.." he realized he had been humming the song I sung last night too and the blue flush blossomed across his cheek bones.

"yea, it was a good song," he said finally.

My lips turned up, because I hadn't had anyone compliment my singing in a long time. I had stopped trying, after my dad told me I had a horrible opera voice.

"Thank you," I said sincerely. There was a long moment of comfortable silence before the bacon grease snapped up, a loud pop making us both jump.

"ahaha, i better finish this," he said, turning back to the bacon.

"Ehe, yea," I mumbled, rubbing my cheeks that felt as hot as the bacon searing. I don't think I have ever blushed this much over the course of a couple days.

"..me either," Sans agreed quietly. I realized I had spoken out loud and pulled my hood up over my face nervously.

"Ahaha I better check on Pap," I said, fleeing out the door. "Out of the frying pan, into the fire," I said, my eyes wide as I took in the sight of Undyne coming in, her form equally stalled at me.

"Ehehe," Undyne chuckled, scratching her shoulder nervously, with her arm across her chest. "I think we need to talk."

"Yea," I whimpered.

Ch 16:

Papyrus had more insight than most people realized, as he send Undyne in to "help" Sans will cooking and packing the food to go to Grillby's.

It was obvious his distaste for the location was dwindling fast, because the back room with "Uncle Grill" overseeing was pretty much the perfect neutral location.

No one broke the rules of courtesy in Grillby's bar afterall, and live to tell the Tale.

Bundled up in Sans jacket, Papyrus to might side and Grillby placed slightly in front. Undyne joined us with Sans. She was practically vibrating with excitement as she lay the containers of food down.

Finally she split. "PAPYRUS! You sneaky kid! You didn't tell me your brother could cook!" And immediately, the ice was broke, as I leaned forward, Grillby let himself relax, Papyrus huffed and Sans smiled his shit eating grin and divvied out the food. Eggs, bacon, and fried potatoes, with hot dog bun toast.

"pap knows i can do everything," Sans said, smirking.

"YES . . ! HE IS JUST TOO LAZY TO DO IT ! ! " Papyrus complained.

I nudged Papyrus, "Ne, Papi-nii, you know, you lead very well as a good role model," I told him.

"R-REALLY ? ? " he demanded, insecure.

"Totally!" I agreed.

I was only slightly aware of Undyne staring at me in confusion fading into to recognition, and Sans eyes twitching to her and back to me.

As my plate was arranged, free of the stifling influence of my family, I fell back into an old happy habit, slapping my hands together.

"Itadakimasu!" before picking up my fork.

"HEY!" a shocked Undyne shouted, pointing at me. "YOU WATCH ANIME! DON'T YOU!"

I squealed in delight. "YES! Totally!" I had also totally forgotten Undyne watched them with Alpys. "I draw it too!.."

I looked at my scarred hand. ".. I did. I did draw it." My eyes were on that scar. I didn't think about what that meant for my skills as an artist. It was one of the few things that kept me going. All I could see was that scar.

A small but callused finned hand lay over mine. Somehow, I was able to look up at her. "You will," she told me. "Don't frickin give up." She touched her eye patch. "I could have."

My soul slipped out, the lattice of blue starting to fill my breaks shown to everyone. I didn't even know myself, and I felt myself hesitant and nervous, as I gazed across the room, one person to another. Finally to Sans, who curled his hand to his chest, before shortcutting away, in plain sight.

My soul shuddered, and made the cracking noises weak ice did. But before it could crack, a orange and blue shimmering bubble rose up around it, filling it with a cushion of weightlessness to recover in.

And faintly, in the soap like squirms across the bubble, I could read _"Confidence."_ slipping back and forth.

I turned back to Undyne. I knew about Alphys. So I told her the only thing I could. "You don't give up, either, okay?"

Ch 17:

The days passed in a distant manner. I couldn't really keep track of all the bustling around, my mind rushing between thoughts and hopes and dreams.

I had called Mom, and she rented a inn room at Snowdin- She was horribly nervous after being in the ruins for so dreadfully long. She rented the ferry and we went back and forth from Pap's to Undyne's place.

Alyphs could visit as far as Undyne's, and the visit went sort of like this.

"I'msorryI'vebeenspyingonyouomgdon'thatemeIlikeyou," the golden lizard babbled.

I babbled just as fast sometimes, but it took me a moment to process it. I knew she was older than me, technically, but she looked so dreadfully young and vulnerable in that moment, that I brushed the soft spikes on her head and only smiled.

"Maa, maa, it's okay imouto," I told her.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaah.." her tiniest near inaudible scream went as she seemed to glaze over and sparkle, hands to cheek, fangirling.

A poke to her forehead brought her out of it. And she eeped.

"H-haiii!" she saluted clumsily.

Undyne just snickered from behind Alphys, hands covering her face to smother them.

The rest of that week was sort of a sleepover, with Mom stopping by to bring snacks. The snail farm being next door helped, and I sort of got a little addicted to escargote ravioli, the recipe Mom, Undyne, and Paps helped me come up with.

We'd watch anime, pretty much all day, between fussing around in the house. I would point out what was real in anime, what wasn't. That would continue to history I could remember, weapons and fighting styles I did know.

That would lead me to explain great works of faith, and achievements of kindness.. and great, horrible acts of evil.

My eyes lighting up talking about God, and my heart shriveling as I described the Holocaust.

That was one of the things, I admitted to them, I greatly feared upon their arrival to the surface. The bigotry, concentration camps, hate crimes.

I ran out of history to share, after about a week. Undyne formally requested for her to bring this to the King. She had gone over the information as much as she could. I double checked what she wrote, trying to fill any gaps my memory could remember.

"I think you need to, Undyne," I finally agreed with her. "Earth is wonderful in many ways, but there is a great amount of horror out there too.." My eyes drifted away. I had been so busy, and I felt important. The memories had pretty much left in the constant action.

"..if we could get to, maybe an uninhabited island.." I murmured. I missed the perplexed look Alphys and Undyne gave each other, and my idle thought drifted away, and I shot a grin at her.

"Hey, you tell him, and don't let him mope, either," I told Undyne. "As far as you guys go, there aren't bad people, just good people who are scared, and do bad things." I hugged Undyne. I had once thought she would smell like fish, but really, she just smelled like the ocean, which was in its own way nostalgic.

A glomp hit us, along with a smothered giggle and a "grouphug!"

Undyne squeezed tighter and I gasped. "Air! Air!" we broke apart, giggling.

"Okay, I'll be going now!" she noogied my head and kissed Alphys head, who blushed. Alphys was starting to come out of her shell, finally. She rarely stuttered anymore and smiled a lot. Sometimes she got this terrible haunted look on her face, but Undyne and I always derailed it fast, in silent agreement, that we were going to wait for her to bring it up.

"Take care of the brat!" she ordered Alphys with a teasing grin. As had become our inside joke she saluted.

"Haiiii!"

My smile wobbled a little as the home grew a little more empty, but Alphys started poking me. "Hey! Hey! Stoooop!" she commanded, eventually tickling my sides. Neither of us mentioned how a beautiful mobius loop of rotating letters had fused seamlessly into Undyne's bubble, days ago.

 _"Family"_

We didn't have to say it, because we felt it all the time.

Alphys was getting just as fidgety as me, by this time. Without Undyne, we couldn't watch new anime without her, and it wasn't the same, watching the reruns -again- without our third to make bad jokes.

But Alphys was smart, and she had seen me longingly look at the paper and pencil that Undyne left behind.

"Y-you know," Alphys brought up to me, as I carefully tried to even write my name with my left hand, ignoring the dampness on my cheeks. I had thought she was in the bathroom, but, no.

"I have a friend," she continued quietly. "Who couldn't do these things. I made him a body, but it wasn't really all that good." She slipped down next to me. "Now I have a nicer body, with arms and legs and everything, but he can't use it, really. The batteries are too weak to keep it working."

She was watching Mettaton's show, the auto default channel we turned to. Not many people watched it anymore, and my frown turned down my cheeks.

"He's really enthusiastic," I told her, a knowing look in my eyes. Her own went wide with surprise that I had read her so easily. I watched him, musing. I didn't know way to much about science, but something drifted to my tongue without me noticing.

"What about kinetic energy? I mean, he certainly likes to dance," I mumbled. A crack next to me showed me the pencil she had slipped away from me was cracked and her glasses hung comedically off her face.

"Umm..IGOTTAGO!" she jumped up, rushing toward the door, before freezing, giggling nervously. "Uhh.. you'll be okay right? I'll text!" she said, gesturing at my new cell. It responded to voice commands so it was easier to use for me right now.

"Yea! Of course!" I beamed at her. "T-t-y-l!" And with a hasty wave, she was gone. My smile slipped from my face. What was I going to do alone?

Ch 18:

That answered itself quickly, as I looked at the empty cupboard. We had a big dinner last night, and were going to pick up some more food this evening. Well, Undyne was. Mom was on a date with Uncle Grillby. That was a surprise, but yet very not. They were perfect together.

I texted Pap, asking where he was.

 **"brobone you anywhere close"**

 **"SORRY LITTLE HUMAN SISTER BUT I AM PATROLLI"**

He pushed past the text limit of the messaging, and I grinned. He did that a lot. The grin turned a little bitter.

Sans still hadn't shown up, and by patrolling, it meant Pap was searching for clues. Pap was almost as hurt as I was, but horribly angry too. Sans always defended his brother, but I wasn't sure he was going to win the fight when Pap caught him.

 **"okay take care love you"**

 **"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ALSO LOVES YOU"**

A second text showed up within moments.

 **"I BELIEVE IN YOU"**

I brightened up a bit then. He told me that often, and for the longest time I was always afraid he was faking it. But he wasn't, and the consistency slowly proved that to me. I wished I could believe in me too, though.

I stood up, picking up the shopping basket. The snail farm was just a block away, wasn't it? I slipped out of Undyne's house carefully, and exitted to the main tunnel. But I forgot- Aaron. He saw me walking past the river and floating himself out.

"Hey Baby, you want to feel these muscles?" he called out with a wolf whistle.

I was not okay. I was not okay! I darted into the room, only slightly aware it wasn't Undyne's room, hyperventilating. I curled in the corner, hiding my face in my knees, the basket forgotten by the entrance to the cave.

I was all mushy brain when I heard a voice.

"H-hey," a soft voice probed at me. "Are.. you .. okay?" It was a familiar face, yet one I had not had the pleasure to meet before. My face covered in tears, and scared, I couldn't enjoy meeting Napstablook for the first time ever. A miasma'd hand pulled me up carefully, and led me into his house.

I felt a slight pressure, hardly aware, as I was pressed gently to the floor. I wasn't really seeing anything right now.. but headphones slipped over my hair, onto my ears, and I heard peppy but haunting music faintly drift into my mouse.

My vision cleared over the course of ten minutes, and I blinked, aware of a white presence laying next to me. Napstablook had lent me his headphones, and lay there quietly, trying to be as non-threatening as possible.

I carefully rolled over, careful not to smush the headphones. I curled into whatever substance he was made of. It sort of felt like a cloud, all soothing and gentle.

And shivered as his miasma hand pat my head.

"H-hey, its okay," Napstablook said. "You're okay, you are safe."

"Thank you," I murmured.

"N-no problem," he replied. He never rose his voice over a whisper, and at this moment that was perfectly okay with me.

"Me-" he cut himself off. "My c-cousin did this for me a lot. I know you feel." He wilted a little, and he was feeling lonely. I knew that, because I felt it too.

My head bobbed a little to the music. This was a really good song, and I told him so. He flushed a little, pleased. It was a pink color, and precious.

"I m-made it myself," he told me. "Y-you want to s-see? .. you don't have to if you don't want."

But I did, and I listened. We ended up bonding over music.

In a team effort we started compiling the Surface songs I knew, at the moment just lyrics. One song seemed to stick out to him, and over the next couple days, Napstablook and I started working it together in detail.

Napstablook had a lovely voice, and when he finished the instrumental fine tuning of this one song, and we stared at it for a long, stunned moment, I was not all that surprised to hear him speak.

"C-can you sing this one for me? I want do this one first," he breathlessly demanded.

"Only if you will sing it with me later," I said, shyly compromising.

So we practiced this song, even when he urged me to take small walks outside, along the river. Shyren caught us practicing, and with a blush, stuttered her way into wanting to help. She couldn't sing anymore, the words tried to slip away, so she just hummed now.

But boy could she play. We couldn't drag Shyren to the piano, rooms away, each time we wanted to practice. So we had a quiet conversation by the river.

With a splash, Aaron rose out of the water. I flinched, hiding behind Napstablook, but the contrite expression on the usually exuberant face appeared. It turned out he had followed me when I darted, trying to apologize, but seeing me in that state filled him with shame and he fled as well.

So, after peeking out for awhile, I slipped from around Bloo, and if I trembled, no one mentioned it.

"Why now?" I asked, slightly proud of myself for the calm voice I used.

"Cuz.. well I saw you guys singing, and I know 'bout the piano, and I thought.. maybe I could help move it here?" He said sheepishly with a embarrassed grin.

I watched him, and I remembered what monster souls were made out of.

"Thank you," I said earnestly, and I wasn't scared anymore. With Shyren finally having access to the piano regularly, her skills skyrocketed, and Aaron watched us, pleased, but a little envious, as we practiced.

I could see him tapping his fingers to the beat every time, with the same pattern. And with a smile, invited him to be our drummer.

He quickly agreed, admitting he'd never drum before, but always wanted to. We had to come up with a makeshift drum set, but the way it sounded was a warm, muted, ideal percussion.

This continued for near a week. Every morning, after breakfast, Napstablook would walk me down the echo flower field. It was eerily beautiful, and he knew I was going to need to stretch my comfort zone, like he had to after his cousin left.

Afterwards, we came home and practiced, picking at snacks to keep our muscles and my throat healed. I wasn't used to singing so much, but it was an art I didn't have to let go, because of my hand. And it truly made me happy.

The second morning, he took me half way, and encouraged me to explore a little.

"I'll .. be right here.. if you get scared," he told me. I knew what I wanted to do, though. I pushed to the last flower room, my fingers shaking as I poked a flower.

"that's my wish too," the echo flower told me. I was at the right one.

So I started speaking. I stopped a few times, testing how long the echo flower would record. But as far as I could tell, there was no upper limit.

"Hey Sans," I told the flower. "It's Gel. Pap's so worried about you. I am too. I hope you are okay! I saw you deleted your profile on that facebook copy thing, and everyone says your phone is off. I miss you, a lot. I know we didn't spend a lot of time together, and sometimes things got junky. But it was still the best days of my life. I'll see you later, I hope. I believe in you."

I stood up, and returned to Bloo. It was time for practice, and my knees were a little sore.

I didn't look back at the echo flower, refusing to acknowledge it.

 **You called out for Sans.**

 **And nobody came.**

Ch 19:

song, because it made both of us happy, and it let us experiment with our skills to see if little changes went better.

It was fantastic how in tune we were with each other. Shyren actually spoke up now and then, and Aaron mellowed quite a bit. Bloo and I had become legit besties, and one evening when we were writing out other songs, I admitted that to him.

His tears of joy floated upwards, and my soul came out. The blue had started slipping away, and I turned away from the sight of my soul.

But a cool soothing feeling touched it, and I looked back. A little faint cloud floated above my soul, sprinkling drops on it. The wounds didn't go away, but they looked less raw, as each drop splashed into the word "friendship" before sinking in.

This developed further the next day, as two other friendships slipped into the cloud, a steady light rain washing away the pain enough to be a little braver.

It was that day, when Mettaton appeared.

The song always started with Bloo, singing a lovely tenor.

 _"How long must I pray? Must I pray to you?"_

 _"How long must I wait, must I wait for you?"_

 _"How long till I see your face, see you shining through?"_

I started next, in soprano.

 _"I'm on my knees, begging you to notice me.."_

 _"I'm on my knees, comfort will you turn to me?"_

Then all of us, Shyren with her humming, Aaron with a surprisingly lovely alto, sung with Bloo and I in concert.

 _"One tear in the driving rain,"_

 _"One voice, in a sea of pain."_

 _"Could the maker of the stars, see the sound of my breaking heart?"_

 _"One light, that's all I am,"_

 _"Right now, I can barely stand."_

 _"If you're everything they say you are,"_

 _"Can you come close and hold my heart?"_

And then I was solo again.

 _"I've been so afraid,"_

 _"Afraid to close my eyes,"_

 _"So much can slip away, before I say goodbye."_

 _"But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why,"_

 _"Cuz I'm on my knees, begging you to turn to me,"_

 _"I'm my knees; Comfort will you run to me?"_

And we sung the chorus again, in unison.

Now was the only solo we could prod Shyren into doing, through many encouragements and some speech therapy.

 _"So many questions without answers,"_ she sung in a young, crystal voice.

 _"Your promises remain."_

 _"I can't sleep, but I'll take my chances... to hear you call my name."_

 _"To hear you call my name."_

And the chorus joined us together in song, yet again.

Finally it was just Bloo and me.

 _"Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?"_

And as the last piano strums faded, we turned in shock at a loud clapping surprised us to look down the tunnel.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Mettaton cheered. "Marvelous Blooky!" He was in his humanoid form, and Blooky looked ecstatically happy, before he flushed in surprise.

"E-everyone helped," he said quietly. "A LOT!" He spoke loudly in our defense.

"Well, I'm glad," Mettaton said, coming by with a soft smile. "To see you finally have friends of your own."

I gently ran my hand across the top of Bloo's soft ghost form. After the rain showed up in my soul, I had been able to touch him, and other ghost things.

Ghost sandwiches were fantastic!

"Of course," I told Metta. "He's one of my precious people, and my hero."

Aaron was unable to look at me , and he turned around to hide his shamed face.

Metta squealed. "So cute!"

"You should be on my show though!" Metta continued. "You're voices are fantastic! And the piano, I never heard anything more beautiful."

I was anxious again, and watched Metta for the reaction to what I was saying next.

"I.. um. Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Me too.. " Bloo followed.

Mettaton pouted, but it was obviously a fake pout to be silly.

"Okay, darlings! " he agreed. "It's your choice! I still think everyone would love you!"

But the next two weeks went sort of surreal, and it was sort of like this.

Mettaton would sit with us compiling music every evening, after sitting and listening to us practice. He became a bigger mother hen than Aaron had become- who had realized that if no one prodded me, I'd forget to eat- just because Bloo really didn't need to, and it was so exciting to try to bring these songs to life.

At a certain time in the evening, Bloo and I would part ways, till the morning. We were still largely loners, if only by circumstance, and the cool down time helped. Bloo didn't need to sleep, and so he'd hang out in the Ruins till morning, coming back scented like leaves and a spider donut for my breakfast, especially cautious after Aaron had caught me not eating before.

The routine was hardly ever broken, even with Mettaton there. He'd put Bloo's headphones on, and listen to whatever we had worked on, along with older songs of Bloo's.

And as my cool down time in the evening, without fail, I'd pick up a pencil in my left hand, and try to teach myself to write again.

It was one of those evenings, after practicing till my hand hurt, I stared at my damaged hand, tracing the scar with my fingers on my good hand. My lip trembled and I closed my eyes.

I forgot I wasn't alone, in the quiet of the room, so I was semi-startled when I heard a response.

"Oh darling," a saddened voice from Mettaton whispered, and before I could turn to look, the door opened and closed, and I was alone.

I blinked, lashes wet, in a quiet stunned state.

But the door opened again, and Mettaton came in, with a small smile trailing across his lips. He took my damaged hand and gently rubbed some sort of balm over it, carefully bending my fingers. The balm eased the stinging from the stretching, and I watched him carefully.

That became the regular evening routine-I stopped trying to write, but Mettaton would gently walk me through this physical therapy routine. A week after this treatment, my fingers could bend just enough to hold a pencil, and I began to relearn how to draw.

Every evening before therapy, I would try to draw the same picture. It came out first as scribbles, and a poor form of it, but I kept trying.

And every morning, Bloo and I would take a walk, and I'd continue to what I fondly thought as my echo flower. I'd leave a message for Sans, detailing my day.. well, leaving out details about what I was working on, the drawing.

Sometimes I took a hour speaking to the echo flower.

"...so I finallly decided, I think I'm gonna take Metta up on his offer. Bloo and I talked, and it wouldn't be fair for us to hold Aaron and Shyren back, and plus we really want to be a little braver.

Well I'll see you later Sans..."

 **You called out for Sans.**

 **But nobody came.**

Ch 20:

It was our first performance, and with very little need to goad, we got Pap to join in a cameo. Alphys had set up the stage, although I had heard little from her after she left.

She had sent a voice mail once, saying that she had neglected some responsibilities and needed to be serious about taking responsibility.

Now and then she updated her status, vaguely, always tagging me to make sure I knew.

My username, Laughter4Life, was used very little, except for a pun or bad joke now and then. It was getting harder to come up with new ones. I didn't know why I was to DETERMINED to keep trying.

Bloo and I fidgeted with our costumes. Metta had put me in a black jumpsuit with a skeleton print. It fit snug on my torso and hips, but flared into bell bottom sleeves and pants legs. I decided to pass on the half skull mask- it'd never work with my glasses, so instead Mettaton carefully face painted something on my cheek.

He wouldn't let me look, but said it was a surprise. I was a little unnerved, but I was finally been able to move my hand and draw again- and this was because Mettaton cared. I had faith in him.

Bloo had his dapperblook on, but his bow tie had a little skull on it and his hat had a lovely ribbon band with a black panel sticking out, mad hatter style, with a pirate flag pattern, the black background with a skull and crossbones.

Aaron and Shyren didn't need to dress up, to their relief, and simply wore black shirts. Aaron's was a comfortable, tight sports tee, and Shyren had a slightly frilly blouse.

Mettaton slipped behind the curtain, hiding us from the audience. Our first live audience ever.

It was a first for Metta, too! He had around on average 8 viewers, period, but word of mouth spread through the Underground, and we had sold out on tickets- over 100! And the viewer count had shot up so high that it was almost guaranteed that the majority of underground was watching.

Metta was almost vibrating in excitement, the skull hand appearing hair clip penning his bangs back, and he slipped into place as the room darkened behind the curtain, and after a long hushed moment, as we could hear the jabbering crowd quiet, the curtains rose.

I walked out to the lead singing spot, my hands trembling as I took the mic. The spotlight shone from below, and small lights lit up the audience, all as excited as me, and suddenly I wasn't scared anymore.

I grinned, and the mood was set. The blue heart painted on my face shimmered with glitter.

 _"Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine,"_

 _"Shrieking skulls will shock your soul,"_

 _"And seal your doom tonight~"_

I blew a kiss to the crowd, winking.

The other players were lit like me, and sung as well.

 _"Spooky scary skeletons,"_

Then me

 _"Will speak with such a screech!"_

Together

 _"You'll shake and shudder in surprise,"_

 _"As you hear these zombies speak!"_

Mettaton, was the only one lit up, and next to him, Papyrus.

 _"We're so sorry, skeletons,"_ he ran his hand down Pap's face.

 _"You're so misunderstood,"_

down Pap's chest now.

 _"You only want to socialize,"_

 _"But I don't think we should!"_ And Mettaton flipped away, the lights seamlessly spot only on Papyrus, as he had his dance number.

All of the band sung together, again,

as Papyrus danced, almost like a mix between Michael Jackson and disco.

 _"Cuz spooky scary skeletons,"_

 _"Shout startling, shrilly screams,"_

 _"They'll sneak from their sarcophogus and just won't leave you be!"_

The refrain instrumentals continued, as we oooed to the background music, and Pap danced.

The next verse started, the lights dimmed, and as planned, Napstablook let himself glow to light himself up, hauntingly beautiful.

And then he sung.

 _"Spirits supernatural,"_

 _"Are shy!"_

He blushed here.

 _"What's all the fuss?"_

 _"But bags of bones seem so unsafe!"_

And then the whole staged lit, and we sung together.

 _"Its semi-serious!"_

The stage was decorated like a graveyard, Muffet having helped with all of the decor. She was a lovely interior designer, cook, and seamstress.

Mettaton took Pap's hand and started dancing with him, both of them looking overly pleased. This wasn't part of the script, but it was perfect, as everyone except for Metta and Pap sung, even Shyren contributing.

 _"But spooky, scary skeletons,"_

 _"Are silly all the same,"_

 _"They'll smile and scrabble slowly by,"_

And then me, solo again.

 _"And drive you so insane!"_

Together again, even Papyrus found himself singing- and although I expected a falsetto, based on his normally a little nasally voice, it came out like a opera singer.

 _"Sticks and stones, will break your bones,"_

 _"They'll seldom let you snooze!"_

 _"Spooky scary skeletons..!"_

 _"Will wake,"_

 _"You,"_

 _"With,"_

 _"A!"_

 _"BOO!"_

And at the end, Shyren's piano solo trailed us out.

As the last note ended, there was a single moment of silence, and starting from the front, and tiered to the back, a standing ovation.

And Mettaton was in tears of joy, glomping a embarrassed Papyrus.

From the back of the crowd I could see Undyne standing with Alphys, clapping as well, as Alphys shimmered in a adorable fangirl glow.

The curtains closed, and Muffet rushed me back to the dressing room to get changed.

This was going to be my only solo act.

Bloo, Aaron, and Metta were left out of the decision completely, after Shyren caught me singing it to myself, and brought me to Muffet.

Muffet made this costume, filled with magic. She tied my hair up with the ribbon in a bow over the top of my head, and I slipped into place. Shyren gave me a hug on the way, whispering "Good luck."

Ch 21:

The lights faded in on me. I was wearing drab, hanging grey clothing, looking over all bleached of color, with the same color grey ribbon slumped sadly on my head.

I looked up solemnly and began to sing, my soul trailing behind me, achingly empty of its blue mosaic, and all the other pieces.

 _"The first thought through my sleepy head,"_

 _"When I fell out of my bed,"_

 _"Is.. I hope the sky is grey,"_

 _"I'm going to write a sad song today,"_ my shoulders slumped, and the audience was quiet as a sense of gloom floated.

 _"So I make up my mind,"_

 _"Slip on my shoes,"_

 _"Gonna pick up the paper, and read the news,"_

 _"Cuz I'm sure to find plenty 'nough blues, to write my sad song,"_

My head turned upward.

 _"But when I open the door, and the sun spills through,"_

 _"Takes away my breath, and I think of you,"_

 _"And the only blues to hit my eyes are those beautiful blues in the clear blue skies!"_

And in a shimmering flood, blue travels up my dress, lighting up Sans' ribbon of magic in my hair. I had carefully, painfully gathered all the blue in my soul, holding it closer to me than even my own soul, but it flood up my soul then, turning it blue, flawless, whole.

And clouds formed above my soul, two of them, forming a rainbow between them. Raindrops fell, turning into bubbles, each popping.

 _Kindness,_

 _Faith,_

 _Family,_

 _Friendship,_

 _Value,_ purple, Mettaton's,

 _HOPE_ , green, whole again.

But it wasn't quite done yet, and I slipped the mic into the mic stand, lifting up my hands as blue radiated from them, fingers laying together as in prayer.

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

 _"So much for my sorry attitude!"_

I pulled my fingers apart to make a heart shape.

 _"Let's make this a love song, because I am so in love with you!"_

I twirled in place, beaming. Because Sans didn't have to come for me to keep caring, I had _FAITH_ in him.

Behind the curtains I didn't see Bloo, Metta, and Pap watching the video feed, with Aaron looking to the side, feeling embarrassed at the scene.

I didn't see Undyne holding Alphys in the back, before she kissed Alphys head, slowly, murmuring her love the lizard looking up in shock, before leaning back against Undyne.

 _"Come on, lets go out and play! Save the sad song for another day!"_

 _"There's no time for tears, I'm wearing a smile!"_

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

I didn't see as Asgore, listening to the feed from his ancient phone, heard the barrier crack in the flowered room behind him, turning suddenly.

 _"So I picked up the news, like I said I would,"_

 _"Dropped my jaw, right where I stood!"_

 _"Cuz the headline read all the news is good- because love is on the way!"_

I didn't see Toriel leaning into Grillby as they worked behind the bar, having turned it into a cafe instead of strictly a bar, pastry shelf and all.

 _"And love floods the world, right before my eyes!"_

And my eyes had been closed this whole time, not seeing any of this magic, especially not the shock of a rainbow flaring in a blast, like an aurora, through the underground. It didn't see as Asgore nearly dropped the phone as he watched the barrier shatter alongside his son, who looked shocked and delighted.

 _"Everybody is dancing, and slapping high fives!"_

 _"And such beautiful music fills the skies,"_

 _"And we all sing along!"_

My eyes opened, and I watched the ribbons of blue magic swirl around my dress, the skirt twirling as if I was swing dancing, and lifting my hair as if I was swimming in it.

 _"And now, I snap out of my daydream, and I can't believe how real it seems!"_

 _"But I keep on dancing anyway, because its turning out to be a marvelous day!"_

I didn't see Sans, his hand holding the picture I drew of him realistically posing with a wink, the caption _"I miss you a Skelle-ton"_ in the margins.

I didn't see him drop the picture as the stream he was watching from his phone coincided with the rainbow flashing across the sky, glittery magic floating down and filling people with _HOPE._

But I did see, when out of my eyes, Sans shortcut a few feet beside me.

I almost stopped, seeing him, and the blue magic around me fluxing in the mix of feelings within me, my soul making a tiny crack, before I was flooding with **DETERMINATION** , and I held out my hand.

 **And Sans came.**

So with his hand in mine, I turned back to the audience, and the blue in my heart grew, the tiniest crack seaming shut and stayed that way. Forever.

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

 _"So much for my sorry attitude!"_

I turned to him, flushed with excitement, as blue shone on his cheeks and he gave me a fragile smile.

 _"Let's make this a love song!"_ I told him in song.

 _"Because I am so in love with you!"_

 _"Come on, let's go out in play,"_

I said, gesturing to the world around me, hand out.

 _"Save the sad song for another day,"_

 _"There's no time for tears, I'm wearing a smile!"_

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it.

 _"Sometimes I measure my day, by how many things go my way,"_

 _"But this time I'm glad, that my song didn't turn out sad!"_

And then I was in his arms, as he hugged me tight.

The solo piano played, as the final chorus snuck up. Shyren smiled happily, and shaking off her awkward insecurity, she pulled her rarely used mic to her face and clearly stated.

"Everyone! Let's do the chorus together!"

 **Shyren called out for help.**

 **And everyone came!**

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

 _"So much for my sorry attitude!"_

 _"Let's make this a love song!"_

 _"Because I am so in love with you!"_

 _"Come on, lets go out and play- save the sad song for another day,"_

 _"There's no time for tears, I'm wearing a smile!"_

 _"So much for my sad song!"_

And Sans leaned down and whispered in my ears, his soul responding to mine,

"i love you too."

And so started my life, finally whole.


End file.
